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Only slowly had feelings come back, and with them came self pity and disgust. She couldn’t accept that the failing was his, it had to be her. She was at fault. She had repelled him, her body had betrayed her. She withdrew into herself, weeks became months became years until her own company was all she sought, all she needed. She didn’t join in the gossip at work, didn’t mingle with the other girls in the office, the pretty ones with their short skirts and painted nails, make up always immaculate, clothes fitting close enough to show every curve and shadow. She dressed simply, worked silently, was polite to everyone and took little notice of any of them. Except for Brian, when she saw him, which wasn’t that often. He worked in a different branch, but he had to come over occasionally, with papers to sign and suchlike. Mostly though they communicated by e mail and over the years they had become, if not friends, at least acquaintances who sometimes passed more than just the time of day.. All I could see was her gray hair sticking out. Looked like a overweight cat crawled into bed.” “Never seen what you saw in her. How’d you two hook up anyways? Gives me the shivers you doing what we do with her.” “You didn’t know her back then. She was different, a lot like you, full of piss and shit. Loud, brash, full of life. Remember one time she danced naked in the park with everyone watching just because it was the first warm day of spring. That was the winter we got tons of snow. But then, over the years that all changed. Just somehow slipped away, slow like. I never noticed, I should of, but I didn’t. Now, all she cares about is if dinner’s hot and on time. Or the house is clean. She’s not there anymore. Like some how it all died.” “Why you so frustrated, especially after this morning? Thought you got all that frustration out’your system.” “Frustration? You wanna talk about frustration? Let me tell you about it. I have that feeling everyday from my family. I’ve got more.
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